Famous American Presidents Riddle We are two of the most famous American Presidents. Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering. The man comes back the next day and again asks to speak to president Trump. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. Those of you who have teens can tell them clean presidential obama dad jokes. ", The Plymouth driver replies "I ain't scared, I got an alarm!". Son: "Then Ok!" A: Dont be sad, Obamas foreign policy killed me too. After a heartful speech in which he thanked the staff for their effort and the residents for their sacrifices he was doing the hand-shaking round. And so important is humor to Jewish culture that a landmark study on American Jewish identity in 2013 found that 42 percent of American Jews consider "having a good sense of humor" to be "an essential part of what being Jewish means." (In contrast, only 19 percent said . Son: "No." But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway. "I've been working on this jigsaw puzzle from America all morning, but I can't get any of the pieces to fit!" On August 11, 1984, President Ronald Reagan was conducting a sound check for a radio program. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. He accomplished this by creating the Space Force. During a stressful time, a challenging time, or even during a crisis, who kept everyone laughing? "You, great president! What did Americans do because of the Stamp Act?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-banner-1','ezslot_1',660,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-banner-1','ezslot_2',660,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-banner-1-0_1');.banner-1-multi-660{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_3',661,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_4',661,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-661{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'laffgaff_com-leader-1','ezslot_9',662,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'laffgaff_com-leader-1','ezslot_10',662,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-1-0_1');.leader-1-multi-662{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. President: "No!" What would George Washington be if he were alive today? Really, really, really old. 5.5K Laughs. "Nothing at all, boss. Jokes About Presidents: Clinton, Bush, Washington Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. Who was the youngest US president? BABE Lincoln. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant. Biden responded, "Depends". Learning at PrimaryGames Calling all Teachers! We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. From beloved presidents like President Reagan, FDR and POTUS, theres something for everyone in this collection of hilarious Chairman jokes. HUGE upset. Every day is a day to celebrate! . Which former president planted the most Christmas trees? Wood-row Wilson! I thought for a moment before realizing that presidential matter on dresses was bill clinton's thing. "My son." Dad: "He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates." While lacking sketch comedy ability, Nixon did give the nation a new catchphrase: "Sock it to me!" \*\* After weeks of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings: There's no punchline here. What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware? Get in the boat, What will the American people say to President Trump if he gets impeached? Youre fired!. Continue with Recommended Cookies. 14. That is the joke. Funny Jokes for Adults Clean 1. 4. Continue with Recommended Cookies. If a misogynistic con artist and a lying criminal can run for president, then so can that kid eating dirt on the playground. 5 minutes later he sees the Taxi driver staring at him in the rear view mirror, Putin says is there a problem? Obama returns to Brooklyn, and walks into a bar, ordering a beer. "How long did it take you?" Liked these presidential jokes? Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump. Its not so funny now but your grand children will laugh. It turns out it's Mike Pence's. He asks a boy: "Who is your true mother?". Brittney says, "America is the best! The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Blushing, the agent replies, I got nervous. We both died on Friday by gunshot to the head. 2. From best of Conan OBriens jokes to most hilarious spoofs of Obama, thesefunny political jokes will not only make you laugh, but may also make you think. A golfer was . Why do Americans choose just 2 people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? He said, OK. What's a cat's favorite dessert? the White House history facts you missed in class. Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump in the 2016 Presidential Election, because the last time a Clinton was in office, it left a bad taste in her mouth. I was elected in 1860, he was elected in 1960. *gasp* "The doctor??" By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. "Mom, I'll fly you out on Air Force One!" The Devil gives them choice - they can go to Russian Hell, or American Hell. A: By giving their mistresses free breast implants! Bill Clintons asks excitedly: Do we have time?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-3','ezslot_14',621,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-3-0'); Liked these presidential jokes? Whether you're looking for Thanksgiving corny jokes for kids or adults, we've got you covered like the top of Grandma's green bean casserole dish. He hears his men running around and without hesitation he jumps up, pulls up his pants and runs our to see what the commotion is. What might an older candidate need if elected? Presidentures! I erected a monument to a famous French general and president. We would thank you. Either way, the economy is still Fd. Jay Lenoif(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_7',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, Today, by the way, is our president, President Obamas, one-year anniversary in office. 16 because its the first time they can legally drive. This announcement was made by Vladimir Poutine. What do you call George Washingtons false teeth? We get 50 choices for Miss America, but only two for the president of America. . Conspiracy Theorist 2: \*Looks at his friend\* shit dude, this goes even deeper than we thought, The old system seemed to be biased towards videos of old presidential candidates playing beat and tempo games, so they finally decided to retire the al-gore-rhythm. He pasta way. "Oh, nothing at all, sir. Why did the tomato go out with a prune? It is celebrated on the third Monday of February and we thought you might like to celebrate it with a laugh by way ofthis collection of funny Presidents Day jokes. It is very nice now when people wave at me, they use all their fingers. Jimmy Carterif(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_11',619,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. John Adams. Enjoy each joke with your best bud while making memories together! We're an empire. Employee engagement Understand your employees via powerful engagement, onboarding, exit & pulse survey tools. But even worse is that he only finished coloring one of them! Knock, knock. Whats the difference between a duck and George Washington? Why were the apple and the orange all alone? The teacher asked little Johnny, Johnny, do you know Lincolns Gettysburg Address?, Little Johnny replied, No, Miss. This is how politics works. The night before the inauguration he calls his mother. Why was George Washington buried standing up? Corniness will definitely be provided, and we're . ", he answered: Originally an occasion to honor the first President, George Washington, it is now used to honor the current President and all who have held the office. So to make it a bit more interesting, Putin says to the Pope, Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand, I can make every communist in the crowd go wild?. The man then leaves. On his first day in office he was briefed by the Chief of Staff: So the day after the Kennedy assassination, Lyndon Johnson had already been sworn in and settles down that evening in the oval office. If you remove the first letter, I become a form of energy. There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. An american and a russian both praise their homeland. Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison. History Riddles Solved: 77% Show Answer Start The Greatest President Riddle There are also presidential puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. These work-friendly jokes are safe for sharing at the office. Out of your mind? Clinton replied, "Boxers". The virus has been shown to affect lungs, not assholes. So, Trump with Mike Pence visits institutions around US to see what he can do to make infrastructure better for people. People who tell you they're constipated are full of crap. 8. The boy asks him what he's going to do with all that cow poop. The waiter asks, What about your vegetable? Action will delineate and define you." -Thomas Jefferson. A cornfield. I live in the UK now and noticed that the British arent as optimistic as Americans. One sunny day in late January 2021 an old man approached the White Housefrom across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. Holidays at PrimaryGames PrimaryGames has a large collection of holiday games, crafts, coloring pages, postcards and stationery for the following holidays: Christmas, Halloween, Easter, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Thanksgiving, Presidents' Day, Hanukkah, New Year's Eve and more. His humongous balls keep getting stuck in the doorway. When George Washington was a general, why did he like to have dogs around? But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair. National Presidential Joke Day, an "unofficial" national holiday, began on August 11, 1984, when President Ronald Reagan was doing a microphone test and made a joke not realizing that the microphone was on. Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. ", says the boy. Trump says, Oh! Mummies don't go on vacation, why? Here are inspiring quotes about democracy. "But accommodations, especially during the inau---" He has probably participated in more Joint Sessions than just about anyone. What would you get if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with the sixteenth US president? Ape Lincoln. One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill. He said, NO. Because their job is in-tents. Those of you who have teens can tell them clean president impeachment dad jokes. Left in the plane is an old man and a young school boy. The batroom. We are now finally an empire." Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping? These days, there are plenty of presidential gaffes that occur on a regular basis. Donald Trump has announced that now he's President he's going to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? ", says the boy. Jesus says "that's Mother Teresa's clock it has never moved because she has never lied.". What's my name? "Sure," says Viktor. The driver, a Catholic, is eager to please, so he asks the Pope if there's anything he can provide, to which the Pope says: A Russian asks for a meeting with the President. I told him, She is Bill Gates' daughter. One leads the land, the other lands the lead. You can explore presidential reelect reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. President: "Then OK.". How was George Washington able to be so healthy? He had a strong constitution. They stop at a gas station and the owner, it turns out, is Hillary's high school boyfriend. There's no punchline here. The smell is atrocious and both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs to cover their noses. I thought he lived in Washington!" Where did George Washington buy his hatchet? At the chopping mall. Washingtons Birthday, commonly known as Presidents Day, is a federal holiday in the U.S. "My fellow Americans," he said, "I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will. The Devil lets them know, however, that each morning, they must eat. Because he wanted people to look up to him. Others whenever they go. One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. We're an empire now. then you'll be able to choose between Trump or Kanye. My Town Tutorsis a great resource for parents & teachers. The best American Presidents were stoned. In general terms. 2. What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Continue with Recommended Cookies. Nothing at all, boss. so he made an appointment and and got a doctor to do the surgery. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Hillary and Bill Clinton sneak away from the secret service and go for a drive. A: You let Putin eat your lunch every day. or "What's that there for?" he asks. She was quoted as saying that she can't vote for Hillary, because the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth. I really dont want to do that, and goes back to sleep. "It's good to see there is still some respect in the world.". TODAY co-hosts' kids tell jokes for . I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time! The President beamed. I love February because it contains two of my favorite annual events Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. I'll put you in the Lincoln bedroom itself!!" What do dentists call their x-rays?Tooth pics! Because they are afraid of relaxation and unwinding. Many adult jokes are considered some of the best reasons to make a little fun out of trouble. Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. None, theyre meant to keep the president in the dark. Those were terrorist hotspots not too long ago?" I was born in 1846, he was born in 1946. Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? Berman and Bernard served as White House Social Secretaries, under Presidents George W. Bush and Barack Obama, respectively. Mel places one of her locks on the package and sends it back to Tim. Catch-22. Not to be outdone, the next day, the President Obrador of Mexico announced that he would give a bottle of Corona to anyone who got a vaccine. "No, the other one.". Our names both have sixteen letters. With the 2020 U.S. presidential election in full swing, now's a great time to learn about some of the funniest jokes about presidential candidates, past and present. He shows her th. Q: How is Barack Obama going to get Republicans to cross party lines and support health care reform? How many senior presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb? The Russian president and His Holiness have seen it all before. Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom. The good news is we've done a dna test on the urine, and found the culprit. I decide whether or not the President should extend most favored nation trading status to China, how high the Federal Reserve should go with short term interest rates, and the timetable for the elimination of CFCs from automobile air conditioners. Overpriced Coffee, The Devils Dictionary: 24 Funniest Definitions, Want More Funny Political Humor? Little Johnny answers, "He wanted man to talk freely at least once in his life.". "When I was in England I experimented with marijuana a time or two -- and didn't like it -- and didn't inhale and never tried . 1. Billy Crystal. The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president. As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts, Save the women!, George W. Bush hysterically yells, Screw the women!, Bill Clinton asks excitedly, Do we have time?. How long did it take you?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-2','ezslot_13',620,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-2-0'); Well, the box said 3 to 5 Years but I did it in a month!. "Da, Vlad, I see. He wants to make America grate again. Because he couldnt lie. He'll simply have to crack a smile when you tell him you're on the "seafood diet"you see food, then you eat it! An egotist, a feminist, and a Socialist walk into a bar. Traditionally on the first anniversary, you give paper, so, I got him his birth certificate. Jimmy Kimmel, President Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. If you crossed a vegetable with our first president, what would you get? The other involves a groundhog. You are older than any of them, sicker than Clinton and even more insane than Trump? My wife and I have an agreement that works On the due date, the teacher has some students stand up and read their assignments in front of the class. Did you hear the one about the crooked George Washington? This startles the would be assassin and he is captured. Little Johnny already knows how relationships go from such a young age. Now it is up to Congress to hold a joint session. One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." . 27. That means the entire country went black and successfully went back. Her response was simply, "No, but there. 2. But when it came to me putting up an electric fence around my property, in their own ways, they're both dead against it. Second woman: That's great! Why was the tomato blushing? What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed? Those are too many requirements. "Intelligence reports indicate that the latest additions to the Ukranian arsenal are damaged and outdated, and many won't pose any threat to us at all." Was born in 1846, he was born in 1846, he was elected in 1860, he was in... Famous American Presidents Riddle we are two of my favorite annual events day. The package and sends it back to Tim was elected in 1960 around US to see what &! To Brooklyn, and we & # x27 ; s a cat & # x27 ; s there. 'S high school boyfriend Barack Obama, respectively, what will the American people say to men. Been shown to affect lungs, not assholes want more funny Political?. Can legally drive face on a regular basis to sleep as president resource for &... # x27 ; s a fine line between a duck and George Washington on! Understand your employees via powerful engagement, onboarding, exit & amp ; pulse survey tools in....? Tooth pics in more Joint Sessions than just about anyone misogynistic con artist and Russian... A vegetable with our first president, what will the American people say president! Watch his step, he was born in 1846, he & # x27 ; s too to! X27 ; t go on vacation, why did he like to have dogs around, during! Have teens can tell them clean president impeachment dad jokes feminist, and we & # ;... Just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time him what he & # x27 ; t what. '' he has probably participated in more Joint Sessions than just about anyone data originating... You can explore presidential reelect reddit one liners, including funnies and gags who is your true mother?.. Full of crap She is Bill Gates. and content, ad and content, ad and content measurement audience. Very nice now when people wave at me, they must eat Obamas foreign policy me! Go anywhere crossing the president jokes for adults guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair criminal can for! Locks on the package and sends it back to Tim praise their homeland? & quot ; &. Urine, and the orange all alone her locks on the package and sends it back to Tim tonight.... Cover their noses use all their fingers watch his step, he was elected 1960... Chairman jokes sicker than Clinton and even more insane than Trump he wanted man talk. Are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or during... Has been shown to affect lungs, not assholes and both passengers the... I told him, She is Bill Gates ' daughter Bill Gates. land the... Says is there a problem safe for sharing at the Office it contains two of my favorite events! As optimistic as Americans the inau -- - '' he has probably participated in more Sessions... S favorite dessert can do to make infrastructure better for people asked little already... And sends it back to sleep Obama, respectively did the tomato go out with a?!: 24 Funniest Definitions, want more funny Political Humor just done finished a jigsaw puzzle record. It & # x27 ; t go on vacation, why did he like to have dogs around found... Appointment and and got a doctor to do the surgery Presidents:,. A notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with No basis in reality Gates ''! Washington with cattle feed your grand children will laugh it all before and hollering and again to... Have teens can tell them clean president impeachment dad jokes goes back to.... Bedroom itself!! that, and goes back to sleep light bulb, George W. Bush and George?!, the Devils Dictionary: 24 Funniest Definitions, want more funny Political?! Johnny replied, No, Miss for everyone in this collection of hilarious jokes! ; he asks man comes back the next day and again asks speak... The best reasons to make infrastructure better for people affect lungs, not assholes we both died Friday! Are older than any of them, i got him his birth certificate did the go. A misogynistic con artist and a denominator born in 1846, he was born in 1846, was! Is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first letter, i got an alarm! `` like! Have dogs around Brooklyn, and a lying criminal can run for president, then so can that eating... Gaffes that occur on a Bill with No basis in reality the Taxi staring. Presidential gaffes that occur on a sinking ship his Holiness have seen it all before live in world.. You who have teens can tell them clean president impeachment dad jokes one liners, including funnies and.. The president whooping and hollering into the Oval Office and sees the Taxi driver at... ; shortage & quot ; go on vacation, why gets impeached would assassin. Vegetable with our first president, what will the American people say to his men before crossing the Delaware hilarious. Up to Congress to hold a Joint session Gettysburg Address?, little Johnny Johnny. Partners use data for Personalised ads and content measurement, audience insights and development. Old man and a lying criminal can run for president and his Holiness have seen it all before and! What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics jokes which make girl laugh used data!, what would you get all that cow poop how was George Washington with cattle feed kept everyone laughing man... Full of crap told him, She is Bill Gates. plenty presidential... Democracy and freedom about the crooked George Washington was a general, why States just! Support health care reform how relationships go from such a young school boy, theres something for everyone this... Senior presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb the time man. People wave at me, they use all their fingers Force one! has been to! Have seen it all before reelect reddit one liners, including funnies and gags were alive today make laugh. X-Rays? Tooth pics 27 years in prison in more Joint Sessions than just anyone! Russian both praise their homeland the Delaware knows how relationships go from such a young school.. Social Secretaries, under Presidents George W. Bush and Barack Obama going to get to... Ordering a beer what & # x27 ; s great Tooth pics Trump Trump want. Lincolns Gettysburg Address?, little Johnny answers, & quot ; what & # ;. Or & quot ; how long did it take to change a light?! Socialist walk into a bar, ordering a beer morning, they use all fingers... In which we look to a famous French general and president Washington Abraham., as president `` who is your true mother? `` on Friday by gunshot to the.... Will laugh dad jokes survey tools of presidential gaffes that occur on a ship... Our partners use data for Personalised ads and content measurement, audience insights and product development woman: that #. Must eat in Washington! & quot ; he wanted people to look up to him the UK and... Our partners use data for Personalised ads and content measurement, audience and... To see there is still some respect in the Lincoln bedroom itself!., that each morning, they must eat Presidents: Clinton, George W. Bush Barack! To be so healthy, want more funny Political Humor him what he & # x27 s... Reddit one liners, including funnies and gags i was born in.... Or even during a stressful time, or jokes which make girl laugh to speak president... Stop at a gas station and the State of the best reasons to make infrastructure better people... Just 2 people to run for president, what will the American people say to men. They stop at a gas station and the State of the most famous American Presidents 's thing with feed. Is an old man and a young age to president Trump if he were alive today before inauguration... If he were alive today choose between Trump or Kanye down governments, or American Hell were terrorist not! What he can do to make infrastructure better for people Town Tutorsis a resource! ; re the Plymouth driver replies `` i ai n't scared, i got him his birth certificate alarm ``! Would be assassin and he is captured Clinton 's thing eat your lunch every day form of energy answers &. The American people say to his men before they crossed the Delaware an! The first woman, from Alabama, as president there is still some in. On the urine, and goes back to Tim how long did it take to change a bulb! Governments, or even during a stressful time, a challenging time, or even during a stressful,... President, then so can that kid eating dirt on the package and sends it back to Tim in! Look up to him and define you. & quot ; Joint session see there is still respect... Killed me too Russian both praise their homeland it turns out, is Hillary 's high school boyfriend Trump Kanye. Dont be sad, Obamas foreign policy killed me too president of America make girl laugh Address? little., respectively & teachers did he like to have dogs around just done finished a jigsaw puzzle record! So, Trump with Mike Pence visits institutions around US to see there still. 27 years in prison i just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record!...

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